It's Like Fifteen... FIFTEEN Entries In One!

At 1/24/2005 01:46:10 PM, Jorge Vazquez said...
and you are back time for an entry, LOL :-)

Actually, I started this first-day-back-at-work with a 3-hour meeting (for which the meeting organizer was nearly an hour late); since then I have managed to clear my electronic inbox. So now I have time for an entry. Of course, Blogger decided not to cooperate, so I'm finishing at home.

(Irony: The blog-by-phone test post finally appeared here, apparently, about the same time I received a message on my phone that it had NOT worked. Go figure.)
 

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We pulled up to the cruise terminal on a rainy Saturday morning, and they checked Dan’s name off the manifest. My name proved more difficult to find. With fears of not sailing running around in our heads, my heart nearly stopped; I have never breathed so heavy a sigh of relief as when our cabin assignment was located and we were officially checked in. Lovely little cabin, near the aft of the ship, with its own balcony from which to watch the sea go by.

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Our dining rotation had us starting in the restaurant where they usually try to put families-with-kids first. We arrived a bit early for our first dinner to discover we were at a 7-seat table, and I wondered aloud, "why are there three kid's menus on our table... oh, crap." Sure enough, mom, dad and three young-un's approached shortly after — 12-year-old boy, and 2 girls in the 5-to-8 range. Oh, but wait: it got better. They are from Washington, D.C., where dad worked for the Bush administration. They were able to take the vacation now that "we won the election" and could relax. Best scene from Saturday dinner: the girls both ordered meals that came with fries; the server came over to offer ketchup from the bottle, and dad commented, "Oh, I guess we're back to using Heinz again." The political reference went right over Dan's head, who asked mom, "what, do you all use generic? Better not let them get used to quality." I kicked him under the table, but at the same time laughing internally that he managed to dish attitude without even knowing he was doing it.

The next day in Key West was a good study in contrasts. They spent a good portion of their day looking for a Catholic church to attend mass. We spent a good portion of our day visiting the gay bars and stores. I called Jorge to tell him we were cruising through Gay Hell.

(Actually, they turned out generally pretty cool, and the kids exceptionally well-behaved. We just had to steer the conversation so Dad wouldn't have opportunity to make any political commentary.)
 
Oh, did I mention: We think they just might have to deal with the gay thing again sometime again soon, such as perhaps when 12-year-old boy grows up just a bit more?

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Key West was cold, windy and occasionally, rainy. We still had a ball. We wandered the island until I was sure I was going to get a blister on my foot, and ended up watching the Sunset Celebration from the sheltered deck of our ship. I enjoyed a slice of key lime pie, frozen, on a stick, coated in chocolate — a non-alcoholic tribute to one of the two (now three?) official shots of the JoyBoyz & Company.

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Non-Drowsy Isn't Always: Monday was our first day at sea. I managed to get a little sunburned, and not drink nearly as much as I had thought I would: Dan and the high seas did not get along this trip. Although never completely ill, he was Dramamined enough to be drowsy and not in a drinking mood.

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Love me, Tenders? Tuesday, we were to get up very early for our Grand Cayman shore excursion. After groggy showers and a quick trip to the buffet breakfast, I noticed we seemed to be further away from the island than when we answered the The-mouse-rings-twice Wake-up Call. About then, the captain came on the ship-wide PA system — the 22mph winds were creating such high swells that the Caymanian government had closed the harbor, preventing us from tendering in. We ended up with an extra day at sea out of the deal. (By the way, many fellow passengers quipped that they have never made it to Grand Cayman on any cruise; apparently this closing-the-harbor gig is a very common occurrence there, especially in winter. Caveat viator.)

To help entertain the troops, they put on an extra movie in the ship's stage-show theatre: Disney's Princess Diaries 2. We attended, never being the ones to pass up an opportunity to see Julie Andrews as Queen. (We also heard her voice the Queen in Shrek 2 many times on the in-room television movie channels.) Dan's favorite line: "A Queen is never late. Everyone else is simply early."

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Dry Land, Almost: We were pleased to dock in Cozumel, and even more pleased to find that our shore excursion would start by a ferry that was picking us up right at the ship. That pleasure faded over 25 on-the-verge-of-seasick minutes, when we finally arrived on the Mainland in Playa Del Carmen for our trip to the ruins at Tulum. It's amazing how many $5 hats and blankets exist in the world.

Tulum was nearly indescribable. An ancient Mayan temple, built on cliffs overlooking the Caribbean. The saddest thing is that they have to block everyone from entering the structures due to vandalism. Stupid, stupid people... (probably Americans, no?)

While waiting (nervously) for the return ferry to Cozumel, a vendor offered us (in this order) a fishing trip (no thanks, we're already headed back), girls (um, no), or a high (Dan thinks he said "guys," but I disagree).

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More "Stupid Ugly American" Proof: Everywhere you go in the Carribean, you find stores named Diamonds International. Usually, there is more than one in a given port, not to mention their other brand names. They're even in the non-duty-free port at Key West, which I found silly. Turns out, they are based in New York. So they're crowding out the little jewelry stores that used to be run by the locals, taking American cash, and sending it back to the States, dodging import fees all the way. Dan did buy a nice blanket from a local vendor whose shop posted a letter that gave us pause: Every cruise ship gives you a map and list of "approved" stores from which to buy. Of course, only the big, international chains can afford to be on those maps, since the companies that produce the maps also staff the ships with people whose job it is to scare you out of visiting any non-map stores with stories of fake jewelry and shady contraband-esque products. Point worth pondering, methinks, for future vacations: support the locals, not the (in essence) Wal-Marts of the Caribbean.

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10% of 2500=8? Before sailing, a friend told us that they had listed "Friends of Dorothy" on the daily program of a cruise he'd been on, so we should be on the lookout for that. We went all week and thought we had spotted maybe 3 other gay people on the ship. Thursday night, the martini-and-piano bar offered a night of showtunes. Judging from the flock in the bar, we had miscounted. There weren't 3 other gay people.

There were 6.

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Misreading The Signs: Speaking of members of the tribe, I came across a guy in the fitness center wearing a T-shirt that read, "The Castro." Plenty of eye contact, and then in the sauna Dan & I noticed (ahem) him sporting a PA piercing. My thought was, "of course, if you want to find the gay guys, hit the gym." In conversations with Dan, though, he mentioned his wife. Um, what? Of course, it didn't help he was at the aforementioned showtunes evening.

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Wind-ing Down: Friday's port of call was the ship's private island. Once again, the winds kept us from docking. The captain even tried twice. Given that they hype the island visit all week, someone had the brilliant idea to soothe the forming rebellion with a little adult lubrication: free Bahama Mama's for an hour mid-afternoon, and complimentary wine with dinner. (To heck with a mid-afternoon snack. Gimme a mid-afternoon Bahama Mama.)

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Calling Me Back to Reality: Work occurred to me exactly once the entire week — when the captain announced we were missing the island on Friday. The announcement was virtually identical to when we missed Grand Cayman, so I found myself wonder who wrote it for him, and how long ago. Presumably it's a script with lots of things like [INSERT REASON HERE] to make it relevant. (I could also tell this because of where the audible pauses were. "Due to inclement weather conditions [LONG PAUSE] such as the strong, Westerly winds [LONG PAUSE], we will be unable to call on [SHORTER PAUSE] the island today." It's the kind of thing I usually write. A breakfast Mimosa helped me forget work.

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Expansion (un)Plans: Despite three valiant visits to the ship's fitness center, the first visit to the bathroom scale was horrifying. We had one of those service teams that figure if you like the appetizer, they should bring you two. And if no one at the table orders their personal favorite dessert, they'll bring one to the table for everyone to share. Friday night we all ordered Baked Alaska... and then shared a cranberry-apple pie and a slice of Chocolate Decadence cake. Never have I thought that "death by chocolate" could be so literal, as I was certain I was going to explode like the guy in that Monty Python flick. Oy. (Yummy, but... oy.)

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It wasn't the warmest cruise I've ever been on, but I was clearly warmer than Central Florida. We returned to fog so thick that we couldn't see the terminal building from our balcony. Not that I'm wishing for summer to get here quickly, but some more high 60's/low 70's days would be appreciated as opposed to last night's low of (what?) 28°.

By the way, don't get me wrong. Although we went from a 4-port, 2-sea day cruise to a 2-port, 4-sea day one (and one of those ports is within driving distance of home), I really enjoyed the cruise. I had no issues with doing next-to-nothing but laying out and watching the ocean go by all week. Even better would have been if I had finished the book for my book club meeting tomorrow night.

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The party continued by going to another show (Hairspray on tour) and then Ron's Mardi Gras. We left before the unveiling of the new King Cake Shot, though, so I can’t comment on it. And after all that... I slept until midmorning yesterday (and would have loved to today...), unpacked, did laundry and grocery shopped. You know, the truly glorious things you get to do after your vacation has ended.

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Already trying to look forward to the next getaway, the great Birthday Plan this year involved a casual group weekend away to Ft. Lauderdale. Turns out that is Winter Party Weekend in South Beach, which could make FtL even more expensive than usual, and maybe even already sold out. Suggestions?