1 E-mail, 9 TXTs … 3 Friends and an Ex

So, the place I once called my "reset button," the place I've written about numerous times, the place I saw going slowly into decline … that place is finally gone.

And I really don't mind. Really. It was getting too sad, and honestly, our last visit as a month before The End.

Of course, since I was so much a regular for so much of my life, many people I knew figured I'd be there celebrating/mourning along with the crowds. In the last week the club was open, friends made sure I was aware … and were surprised I wasn't there. Even my ex, who notified me by late-night TXT first that it was the last Thursday, then the last day.

And shock of shocks: though that club was an integral part of my life for years, and though I met friends there then that I hold dear now, moving past my ex led me to move past going to the club.

All too often I was drinking and dancing the pain away. Spin louder, dance harder, plug into the music to lose myself in the moment. And now, I don't need that. I miss socializing with friends as much as I did, but I'm creating new ways to do that. And I don't need the dark, buzzy world of the club to fool myself into thinking I feel happy. It actually feels strange, and foreign, to go out to a club now and drink — like a relic from a me I used to be.

I'm happy. For real. Without an artificially induced high or a fantasy disco to get me there.